Key events
64 min: Tottenham 1-1 West Ham I’ve only really had eyes for Goodison Park in the last few minutes, but this looks like a much more even game at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. It won’t end 1-1.
Full time/Kick off: Everton 3-0 Newcastle
It’s too soon to say Everton are back, but they are certainly getting their identity back under the admirable Sean Dyche. This scoreline flatters them a touch, not that they should care: they were overdue some xG baiting after all those home defeats earlier in the season.
For the most part it was a tight, crotchety match, but Newcastle’s weary XI couldn’t go the distance and conceded the first of three goals in the 79th minute. They’ve got a second wind now though, because it has just kicked off at the final whistle! Jordan Pickford was involved, as were a number of Newcastle players ,and James Tarkowski is fuming with one of the Newcastle backroom staff. Joelinton is also being restrained.
90+9 min: Everton 3-0 Newcastle There was a long VAR check for offside – but the goal stands.
It came after a long spell of olé football from Everton in the middle third. Patterson curled a clever pass down the inside-right channel to find Beto, who ran 40 yards into the area before nutmegging Dubravka.
GOAL! Everton 3-0 Newcastle (Beto 90+6)
A perfect finish to a perfect night for Everton: Beto has scored his first Premier League goal!
Jarrod Bowen has scored his 50th goal for West Ham. There was plenty of fortune in the build up, but he finished it superbly. Kudus’s shot from 22 yards was blocked by Romero, bhut the ball ricocheted off Davies and through to Bowen in the area. For a second Bowen had no idea where the ball was, but he got his bearings and calmly lifted a right-footed shot over Vicario.
GOAL! Spurs 1-1 West Ham (Bowen 52)
Spurs have lost another lead!
90+1 min: Everton 2-0 Newcastle There will be 10 minutes of added time. You can imagine the reaction from the home fans.
Newcastle almost get one back in the first of those 10 added minutes. Joelinton’s pass is behind Isak, who controls it brilliantly with his ankle but then flips the ball over Pickford and wide. The first touch was gorgeous.
90 min: Everton 2-0 Newcastle Jamaal Lascelles limps off to be replaced by Emil Krafth. It might just be a precaution as he’s been struggling for the last 10 minutes or so.
89 min: Everton 2-0 Newcastle This is such a big result for Everton, who desperately needed a signature home win to change the mood during future games at Goodison Park.
Newcastle will cite tiredness, rightly so given their injury list, but Everton have had to deal with adversity of a different kind. They’re doing it admirably.
46 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham Peep peep!
Trippier lost the ball to Harrison, who surged into the area and slid a low cross towards McNeil. He couldn’t sort his feet out but Doucoure arrived late to slide the ball past Dubravka from 10 yards.
GOAL! Everton 2-0 Newcastle (Doucoure 86)
Abdoulaye Doucoure seals victory for Everton after – and I can barely believe I’m typing this – another mistake from Kieran Trippier.
83 min: Everton 1-0 Newcastle If it stays like this Everton will move out of the relegation zone. And without the ten-point penalty they would be in the top ten. It’s almost as if Sean Dyche is a bloody brilliant football manager.
82 min: Everton 1-0 Newcastle: Chance for Newcastle! Miguel Almiron misses a good chance, heading onto the roof of the net from six yards after Miley mishit a shot into the ground.
It’s nightmare for Kieran Trippier, who had a brainfade just inside his own half and was robbed by McNeil. He galloped infield, heading straight for goal, with Calvert-Lewin’s run taking Lascelles out of the way. McNeil hugged the ball on his left foot until he reached the edge of the area, at which point he veered away from the covering Schar and lashed a thrilling rising drive across Dubravka. Lovely goal.
GOAL! Everton 1-0 Newcastle (McNeil 79)
Dwight McNeil scores another sizzling goal!
76 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Pickford doesn’t look great but he’s going to continue.
76 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle A nervous moment for Newcastle. Young’s cross from the right is met by Doucoure, whose slightly tame downward header hits Trippier and is booted to safety.
Meanwhile, Jordan Pickford is struggling with what looks like a muscle injury.
Half time: Spurs 1-0 West Ham
Lo Celso’s low cross is sliced against his own post by Zouma, who had to go for it. That’s the last significant action of a one-sided first half. Spurs, who have been excellent with and without the ball, lead through a good header from Cristian Romero.
West Ham offered little – but Lucas Paqueta missed the best chance of the half just before the break to remind Spurs that this isn’t a done deal.
The delivery 🎯
The header 🤯Cristian Romero opens the scoring for @SpursOfficial against West Ham!#PLonPrime #TOTWHU pic.twitter.com/73AQQRpnuX
— Amazon Prime Video Sport (@primevideosport) December 7, 2023
44 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham Kudus, on the right, digs out a superb cross to find the unmarked Paqueta at the far post, but his stooping header is well wide. That was a terrific chance.
68 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Gordon bursts into the area again before being crowded out by Branthwaite and Tarkowski. He has looked muh more dangerous since swapping positions with Isak, and right now Newcastle look the likelier winners.
“Hi Rob,” says Peter Oh. “Did you know that the Lagunitas Brewing Company makes the version of Newcastle Brown Ale that is sold here in North America?”
I did now!
67 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Seamus Coleman is going off through injury, though it looks like a muscle strain rather than anything more serious. Nathan Patterson replaces him. Coleman is able to jog off and receives a standing ovation while doing so.
65 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Gordon, who is looking increasingly dangerous, runs onto a through pass from Isak and curls over from 25 yards.
40 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham More opportunities for Spurs. Fabianski punches a cross only as far as Kulusevski, whos shot is blocked by Emerson. The ball rebounds to Bissouma, who shoots over from the edge of the area.
63 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Dubravka gets nowhere near a deep, inswinging corner from the right, but the teenager Lewis Miley does really well to ensure Calvert-Lewin can’t get a clear header beyond the far post. The ball bounces into the side netting for a goalkick.
62 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Tarkowski dithers on the edge of the D and is robbed by Gordon, whose early shot is too close to Pickford. That was a pretty good chance, and almost a nightmare moment for Tarkowski/the entire Everton support.
37 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham Spurs win the ball high up the field yet again. Lo Celso threads it through to Johnson, who shoots too close to Fabianski from a tightish angle.
35 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham A decent save from Fabianski, who beats away a hooked shot from Lo Celso. Spurs have had almost 80 per cent of the possession in this game.
“My big take away from tonight is: God Clive Tyldsley is good,” says Niall Mullen. “Enthusiastic, knowledgeable and nary a hint of grumpy old football man about him.”
Oh, he’s fantastic. I’d strongly recommend his two-part interview on the When Football Begin Again podcast. He does actually get a bit grumpy at times, understandably so, but the whole interview is a joy. Or, at least, was a joy for me.
55 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle It’s a rugged arm-wrestle of a game at Goodison Park. Gordon elicits one of the bigger cheers of the night by shooting well wide from distance. To his credit, he has played a fair part of the game with a smile, which hasn’t always been the case when star players return to face an affronted Goodison crowd.
“I’m pretty sure you can drink a Lagunitas at home (although I might prefer a Bell’s Two Hearted), but I’m a little doubtful about you and the Christmas party,” writes Joe Pearson. “The last time you mentioned your location (back in January), you were living in Bruton. Google tells me that’s two and a half hours from London, where one supposes the aforementioned party will be taking place. Regardless, Happy Holidays (including Hannukah, which begins tonight)!”
You know we have running water over here, right? London even has other luxuries like “trains” and “hotels”.
30 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham Spurs won’t feel safe at 1-0, especially as they’ve been ahead in their last four games and taken only one point.
50 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle: Chance for Everton! The backpedalling Dubravka drops a corner and falls into the post. Newcastle force the ball behind for another corner. McNeil’s near-post outswinger is met by the towering Calvert-Lewin, whose header deflects off Lascelles, hits Dubravka and is booted away by Almiron on the line.
25 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham Kudus robs Udogie 30 yards from goal and decides to have a pop. It’s a tame shot, easily saved by Vicario.
In other news, it’s hooning it down at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.
46 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Peep peep! The second half is under way at Goodison.
22 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham Lo Celso has a shot blocked after another hypnotic move. Spurs have been relentless in the first quarter of the game.
19 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham “It’s almost rude of Tottenham to score a goal like that against West Ham,” writes Kári Tulinius. “A big centre-back scoring a towering header from a corner is something you expect a David Moyes team to do to another side, not have it happen to them. It’s like a rapper biting another MC’s style.”
That’s a very good point. I’ll be honest, though, I didn’t see that last sentence coming.
17 min: Spurs 1-0 West Ham Spurs are playing some terrific stuff. Kulusevski flicks a nice pass round to corner to Son and sets off for the return. Son reaches the edge of the D, uses Kulusevski by not using him but then shoots too close to Fabianski.
GOAL! Tottenham 1-0 West Ham (Romero 11)
Pedro Porro’s outswinging corner from the right is met by the backpedalling Romero, who strains his neck muscles to steer an excellent looping header into the far corner. Welcome back.
8 min: Spurs 0-0 West Ham Possession so far: Spurs 90-10 West Ham. I wish Ange Postecoglu was my editor.
Half time: Everton 0-0 Newcastle
A craggy, increasingly ill-tempered half ends goalless. Everton had less of the ball and more of the chances, with Dominic Calvert-Lewin missing by far the best when he volleyed over from six yards.
6 min: Spurs 0-0 West Ham Jarrod Bowen has started back on the right for West Ham, with Mohammed Kudus as the false nine.
These are the revised teams.
Tottenham Hotspur (4-2-3-1) Vicario; Pedro Porro, Romero, Davies, Udogie; Bissouma, Hojbjerg; Kulusevski, Lo Celso, Johnson; Son.
Substitutes: Forster, Emerson Royal, Dorrington, Skipp, Sarr, Richarlison, Gil, Veliz, Donley.
West Ham United (4-2-3-1) Fabianski; Coufal, Zouma, Aguerd, Emerson; Alvarez, Ward-Prowse; Bowen, Soucek, Paqueta; Kudus.
Substitutes: Anang, Cresswell, Mavropanos, Ogbonna, Kehrer, Fornals, Ings, Benrahma, Mubama.
45+2 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle This game is getting very niggly. The referee stops play when Schar and Branthwaite collide and go down holding their heads, though Newcastle aren’t happy because they had the ball in a decent position.
Both players seem to be fine.
1 min: Tottenham 0-0 West Ham Fabianski rushes off his line to deny Kulusevski inside the first minute. Kulusevski might have been offside but I wouldn’t bet the farm on it.
44 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Tarkowski has a big scratch on his right arm, so we may hear more about that at half-time.
1 min: Tottenham 0-0 West Ham Peep peep! The other match is under way in north London.
44 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Tarkowski and Joelinton have a bit of a set-to before an Everton free-kick. Tarkowski presents his arm to the referee, who then calls him over a second time to have a word. The VAR team looked at the incident but it was quickly checkcompleted.
42 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle Trippier is outmuscled by Calvert-Lewin, then drags him down and is a bit fortunate to not be booked.
40 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle: Calvert-Lewin misses! Well, Everton created a huge chance there. A long, diagonal free-kick from the right bounced in the Newcastle area and was forced through to Calvert-Lewin by Branthwaite. He was unmarked, six yards out, but launched a chest-volley over the bar.
37 min: Everton 0-0 Newcastle “To add to the xG conversation, I have Opta’s Stats page up in another tab,” writes Joe Pearson. “Everton are dominating the xG so far, 0.96 to 0.24. But that’s going to happen when you have such a large shot differential. Admittedly, some of the chances have been really difficult, but they need to finish.”
I’ve pulled this straight out of a well-known place, but I wonder whether Everton create a lot of small chances (0.1-0.3) and not enough big ones (0.5+). Lord knows.